The Auto-Shafter Does Its Job
Football season has started. Similarly, Fantasy Football season has started. So before I get to my Week One recap (which I can't do until after tonight's games), I figure I'll go back in time and review my draft.
(This is the part where I don't say anything about not having posted anything for several months. It wasn't football season. Deal with it. For baseball, go to Fire Gardy.)
First, it was horrible. I thought the draft was on August 30 ... and it was apparently on August 23. It was also scheduled for 9:45 PM, on a Saturday, which places me at the bar just about every weekend. So, long story short, I got auto-drafted. (Auto-shafted?)
First round pick? Marshawn Lynch. Not bad, I guess. Second? Larry Johnson. Ouch ... but maybe he can be good again? Right? Thid round: Lawrence Maroney. The Auto-Shafter is just playing with me right now. Everyone knows Belichick hates him and will never run the ball, right? And that if he does, it'll be to someone else?
And ... it didn't get better from there. I ended up with three tight ends: Tony Gonzalez, Ben Watson, and Greg Olsen.
I managed to get my grubby little mitts on Felix Jones, who might actually turn out to be a good pick.
My wide receiver situation is woeful at best. Roddy White and Torry Holt. Plus, as a "bonus," Darrell Jackson, who will get exactly one start before Brandon Marshall comes back from suspension. Good pick, Auto-Shafter. I'm glad I have people to put into my WR slot. And that I can play multiple TEs. Dick head.
Oh yeah, and just to make sure I have a lock on the entire massive New Englad running game, I also have Sammy Morris. Maroney and Morris. Put together, they'll be like one running back! Except that Lamont Jordan will take all the TDs and Kevin Faulk will be the receiver out of the backfield.
My QBs are Eli Manning and Brett Favre. Middle of the road, possible upside. Not too bad, I guess, if I'm not going to have one of the elites.
I have extremely low hopes for this season. If I finish in the top half of the league, it'll be because I managed to find a diamond in the rough or two on the waiver wire. This year's Ryan Grant, I'm waiting for you to call me and let me know two weeks before you break out.
Posted by Sean Schulte at 2008-09-08 15:52:50
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