Simmons on Wildcard Weekend
From Simmons, regarding last Sunday's playoff loss:
The Vincent Gallo Award for "Most frustrated, depressed and possibly homicidal fan of a star-crossed NFL team" To my buddy Geoff, a lifelong Vikings fan whose texts became increasingly angry as the game slipped away in the second half, concluding with these three beauties: 391bde853e0cb7951f93a197ed75eb80 (Ladies and gentlemen, the Minnesota Vikings!)
I have nothing to say about this, except that he's right. That's pretty much how I felt during the game too.
More:
The David Foster Wallace Memorial Award for "A supposedly fun thing that I will never do again" And you thought I'd write, "Pick Tarvaris in another playoff game" here. Not true. I didn't mind losing that pick -- betting on Tarvaris was one of the most exhilarating non-Boston sports experiences I've ever had. Every time he went back to throw, it was more dangerously exciting than driving fast in a snowstorm or making out with a stripper. I have no regrets.
This is why I keep coming back to Simmons every week even though he hates Minnesota sports teams, and therefore, by extension, me. Lines like this are simply brilliant. He's one of the few successful writers about whom I'm not confused by their success. Like Patrick Reusse, or Rick Reilly.
And boy oh boy is he right about Ladainian Tomlinson. Is he even a first round pick in fantasy football next year? I don't think I'd take him if he slipped to me in the second round.
That's really all I have to say. Just wanted to get that off my chest.
Posted by Sean Schulte at 2009-01-09 19:36:04
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