NFL Week 10 Picks
For some reason the Vegas.com site that usually gives me my betting lines is down. I can't get the spread for this week's games. My guess is that this is some kind of weird karmic punishment for making my picks after the games started -- damn Thursday games. I guess I'm going to have to use the ESPN Insider lines. It's not like I could possibly do worse.
Denver at Cleveland
I honestly don't know who I would have picked in this one, but I'm pretty sure I would have gotten it wrong. But Brady Quinn looked good. And consequently, Derek Anderson's contract looks pretty bad. Can the Browns do anything right?
New Orleans at Atlanta (-2)
It looks like the rule of the NFC South is that you pick the home team. So that's what I'm going to do. Falcons.
Tennessee (-2.5) at Chicago
I really don't see the Bears stopping the Titans' unbeaten season. They're going to run all over these guys, and Rex Grossman facing an unusual pressure scheme and an opportunistic secondary? Smells like a disaster. Titans.
Jacksonville (-4.5) at Detroit
I know the Jags have lost a couple of easy ones in a row. It really sucks to be them right now. But you know what else sucks? Being the Lions. Ever. So I think Del Rio rights the ship this week. Jaguars.
Seattle at Miami (-6.5)
Seattle is not good, and the Dolphins are actually looking decent. Plus I have to give them credit for bringing back the single wing, which thoroughly entertains me. And I like to be entertained, so go Dolphins!
Green Bay at Minnesota (-1.5)
I can't believe the Vikings are favored in this game. The ESPN Insiders are not smart. Aaron Rodgers is about to throw for about 10,000 yards in this game, and it's going to be sad. And Jared Allen will be busy sitting on the sideline doing his taxes and complaining, apparently fully expecting that the fans will be on his side -- after all, he's sharing his $21M annual salary with regular Vikings fans, right? Wait, he's not? Then what the hell do we care if your taxes just went up, toolshed? You're still taking home like $12 MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR AFTER TAXES. And the rest of us aren't sniffing that much money in our entire lives, taxes or no. So stick a sock in it, loser. You lose. Packers.
Buffalo at New England (-2)
I'm finally off the Bills bandwagon. And it feels good. I traded Marshawn Lynch away, getting my hands on this year's Ryan Grant (Tim Hightower) as well as last year's Ryan Grant (Ryan Grant). Which means I no longer have any qualms about pointing out the fact that their quarterback can't get the job done, Lynch has been tanking the last few weeks, and Jauron has stopped caring about the team's success now that he's getting paid. The Bills are back to being the Bills. Patriots.
St. Louis at New York Jets (-5)
I decided to put Donnie Avery on my bench again this week (after starting him last week left him impotent in the game). Therefore, I fully expect a big game from him. However, I don't expect a big game from the Rams' defense, which is going to get ripped to shreds by Brett Favre Brett Favre Brett Favre. Jets.
Baltimore at Houston (0)
Even? Well normally I'd lean toward the home team, but it's not just the Bills that I've decided to dump. I'm also done with the Texans. They're out of the picture now, and I don't really care if they start winning. But they're so untrustworthy that I've just decide to start going against them. Ravens.
Carolina (-7.5) at Oakland
I can definitely see this. The Raiders have completely collapsed. I wonder if Al The Sea Monster Davis regrets firing Lane Kiffin, who was apparently the only thing keeping this team from being the worst one ever assembled. I also wonder if Davis even remembers doing that, or even who Kiffin is. In a lot of ways, I feel bad for Raiders fans. Then I remember that they're wearing steel pauldrons and black and silver face paint. And then I just feel bad for their wives. And children. And also them. Panthers.
Indianapolis at Pittsburgh (-5)
I don't know why, but I have a good feeling about Peyton this week. And I think the Steelers have an election hangover coming. They were, after all, responsible for Obama winning the election (in the previous 17 Redskins home games immediately preceding an election, if the Redskins won then the party that won the previous election's popular vote would win, while if they lost then the party that lost the previous election's popular vote would win -- so McCain fans can all start picketing outside Dan Rooney's offices). Colts.
Kansas City at San Diego (-3.5)
Really? I disagree! Chargers.
New York Giants (-2) at Philadelphia
The Giants are good, and the road to the Super Bowl goes through them. I like it. So that's why I'm picking them. Also, my fantasy team really needs Eli to come up big this week (for once). Giants.
San Francisco at Arizona (-7)
Mike Singletary can pull his pants down. He can bench his few good players. He can even tilt at windmills. But what he can't do is turn shit into wine. I mean, Jesus at least had water to work with. Singletary is just screwed. Also Kurt Warner is still confused about what year it is. Which is awesome for "Cardinals Fans," if there are any. Cardinals.
Last week: 6-8 Total: 36-60-2
Pathetically, 6-8 is one of my better performances. I'm still holding out hope that I'll hit .500 one of these weeks. Maybe even better than .500! But I'm taking it one week at a time.
Posted by Sean Schulte at 2008-11-09 00:41:11
blog comments powered by Disqus